Saturday, June 2, 2012

Faith or Fate?

I actually took this picture myself in Paris. Something about this statue fascinated me. If anyone has any more information on it I'd love to know!

Today as I was on my way to purchase a video game, I witnessed something that could possibly change my life...

Not two cars behind me, I saw a large rental truck spin out of control, shoot across the median, into oncoming traffic, and across the street into a field. Luckily no one was seriously hurt, but I was very shaken up. I had to pull over and call my mother and talk it through with her. I was shaking and sobbing. I don't think anything has ever made me feel the way that I felt at that moment. If I had just been going a little slower or was delayed by a few seconds, I would have been in the pathway of that truck and driven into the median and into oncoming traffic. The worst part was, it wouldn't have been an easy, instant death, as the whole event lasted at least 10 seconds. In that time everything that has happened in my life would flash in front of my eyes. Luckily I managed to stay calm until I pulled over. I have only witnessed two other accidents in my life, but both were when I was very young and I can only remember short glimpses of them. But I will remember today forever.

NOTE: If you are offended by religious discussion, stop reading here.

It made me start thinking about the afterlife. Something I don't usually ponder. As you know, I consider myself a Christian. Having been raised in a Christian school for the majority of my life, I was instilled with Christian values. However, as I get older I realized that a lot of the Christian ideals are nothing like my beliefs. First off, I do NOT think that it's my responsibility to CHANGE anyone. Local pastors have been getting a lot of negative attention lately by the media and they make me almost ashamed to share the same religious "status" as them.

Not only that, but I personally believe that a lot of the Bible was written as parables by religious leaders of the time. It's obviously not the direct word of God as many claim. I don't remember reading about how the book ascended from the heavens and was the guideline for all humans to follow. A lot of it is prejudiced, but also fitting for the society of the time.

Let's get one thing straight. I DO believe in a God. I believe there is an omniscient power out there that created life. That being said, I believe in a lot of the ideals of Evolution. But I believe that these were set in place by God. Whether God is directly involved in all of our lives today is uncertain. But I think free will prevails over all.

Now for the matter of Jesus Christ. I honestly have purposely avoided deciding on whether or not I believe everything about him. I do not doubt that he was a man, a very good and religious man who did many great things during his lifetime. But I also think the idea of Jesus and the Holy Spirit are conflicted. I have always been told that you have to "accept Jesus into your Heart" to be saved. I don't think this necessarily means you have to believe that he was the Son of God. I have accepted the Holy Spirit into my heart, and whether Jesus existed or not doesn't really matter to me if I have that.

Heaven. Real? Fiction? To be honest, I don't think about it. I feel that whatever happens, happens. If it does exist, I feel I have done what I need to do to get "in". If not, then it isn't as great of a place as it's imagined to be. And if all gay people go to Hell... well I'd much rather go there. There's a lot of sarcasm in that statement of course. However, if Heaven doesn't exist and we all just disappear into nothingness, then I don't have anything to worry about, do I? And if I come back as a ghost... well, that would be bloody brilliant.

So yes, I consider myself a Christian. But not by the standards that society puts upon Christians.



  1. I don't really understand why what you saw today affected you so strongly. This is the first time you have contemplated the possibility of you dying in an accident? I hope that this memory has positive effects for you and not negative ones.

    I think your concept of religion is quite reasonable and practical for an intelligent person. It keeps you from having to blindly believe things that just don't 'compute' yet it leaves you with a belief you can take some comfort from.

  2. First an apology of sorts, I used to be a regular reader but haven't visited in a long time - but I'm back. I understand how a close call in avoiding an accident can shake you up. Your current beliefs are where I used to be. Now, I classify myself as Agnostic (not sure) I have been reading a lot of Athiest stuff and some of it makes sense but some get's very confrontational and that makes me feel uncomfortable. I wish we could get to a "live and let live" place in our national attitudes but their are far too many crazy people who use their religion as a club - I just don'tlike it when Athiests do the same thing to liberal Christians. Anyway, I always like a post that makes me think - thanks.