Friday, June 29, 2012

Blackmail


Well, this entry is going to take a completely different turn than what I had planned...

Today I realized that there are certain people out there that are evil enough to try to ruin my entire life and get enjoyment out of it.

Yes, today the ONE person who knew me personally and was my friend at the creation of this blog OUTED me to Jason. He told him about the blog and how I was using it to "allow old men to get off to my sexual encounters with him". If you actually read my blog you would know that is FAR, far from the truth. I changed my approach with the blog as soon as I entered my first real relationship. Yes, before it was a play-by-play (even if some of it was fictionalized) about my experiences with past crushes.

I guess my only emotions right now are shock and anger.

Jason told me about everything that Steven said (Yes, I'm using a fake name for the exposer because I could not possibly lower myself to his level). The worst part was, they discussed it over video chat, meaning there is no chat log that I can physically see other than what Jason tells me happened. I don't know how the message was delivered, how many other bullshit lies were spread, or how Jason really responded to the situation.

Jason chose not to learn of the actual address to the blog, so as of right now (to as much of my knowledge) he hasn't read anything. But with that being said, I plan to reveal it to him at some point in the near future. I WILL NOT change or remove any entries, because I want him to know exactly what was said and realize my intentions were not to expose him.

To YOU, Steven. I'm not sure how you can live with what you did and not feel guilty. You of all people should know that this blog was created as a record of my life so that other LGBT youth and teens can have someone to relate to. I've written back and forth with many of my readers who have only commended me and thanked me for my honesty and support with being gay or a boy-lover. I guess all I have to say to you is that you should feel foolish for your decision today. Karma is a bitch.

To you, JASON. Here is a quote from a previous entry written several months ago just in case you happened to discover the blog.
"Jason", if you ever stumble across this blog, please don't judge me before you talk to me in person about it. Don't think that I do this to expose you or anyone at all. I do it to tell my story to hundreds of other regular readers who struggle with similar situations. Some things aren't exactly as they happened, mainly for the purpose of keeping both you and I anonymous online.
 I've texted you a few times back and forth now, but I do not feel comfortable leaving it as our conversation ended. I know that you still love me and I definitely still love you. I wasn't keeping this secret from you for any other reason than the fact that it contained some detailed encounters with my past crushes and my short lived relationship with David. Yes, I may have said a few negative things about you after we had our "break", but I read most of them to you in person, even though I disguised it as my personal journal rather than a blog.

 I plan to continue the blog. I guess Steven wanted me to shut it down because of this. However, I will never mention Jason or any specific person ever again. I planned to do an entry about how great his visit this past week was but I guess plans have changed.

To all of my readers, all I can say is that I'm sorry this happened. You have Steven to blame. I went from a very high point in our relationship (at the end of our visit), to an absolute low point in a matter of hours. Any words of support to me or Jason in the comments would be appreciated.


-Tristan

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