Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Switching Roles


In my current relationship, I am noticing that my boyfriend insists on taking the "submissive" role in the relationship. He has told me this since the beginning, but only now is he really demanding that I take on the "dominant" role.

I don't consider myself either of these roles. I feel like in an ideal relationship, both people should be a little bit of both. You should take turns being both submissive and dominant. Not on a specific schedule, but if there is something that you want, you should go for it and not avoid it just because you are submissive.

My biggest issue with my relationship is that I am unable to sense any emotion from Jason. That being said, I am terrified of making a move on him that he isn't comfortable with. I find myself asking a lot of questions like "What can I do to make you happy?" or "What do you want to do?" when we are cuddling. This doesn't mean I want him to be in control, I just want to know what he wants. Is that such a bad thing?

The reason I'm writing about this is because last night he refused to kiss me. At first I thought it was because he didn't want to be together anymore, but that didn't make much sense since we had just finished cuddling for 2 hours. I'm beginning to think it was because I didn't take the lead with it. However, I did bring up the idea of doing it. But I guess he wanted more of a "Can I kiss you?" than a "We should kiss". They seem the same to me but I guess he wants to be 100% submissive.

Honestly, I'm not sure if I can deal with a relationship like that. I feel like it's unfair for me to do all of the work in it. I am willing to step it up a notch and just go for things, but that's only if he lets me know that he is fully comfortable with everything.

I plan to confront him about this in about an hour and I am very frightened by what his reaction might be. I hope he at least gives me a chance before deciding he wants to break up.

Do you think it is possible to become more dominant if you are generally the submissive type? Vice-versa?

More soon,
Tristan

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