“It’s been a long time since I came around, it’s been a long time but I’m back in town…”
That’s right, as I mentioned earlier I decided to take this weekend as an opportunity to head home. I didn’t have a definite reason, but I used helping Mikey and Dylan with a video as an excuse. But another reason was probably because I felt like I needed a break from college life. I needed to escape the “loneliness” I was experiencing, whether it was true loneliness or not.
Friday as soon as I got back in town, I went to Lilly’s going away party. Early last week she came to my school for a college tour that I attended with her. I felt a little funny since I was already a student but it was nice to be with her. Yes, I somehow still have feelings for her. I know, I can’t explain it either.
At her party I got to see one of my best friends as well as a few other friends from drama. They all seemed genuinely happy to see me and eager to hear about how college was going. But that wasn’t the best part. Lilly’s 12-year-old brother Greyson was there. Yes, I used a picture of Greyson Chance for this entry because he bares a strong resemblance to the singer, except I find him more attractive than Chance. I was in a play with him once but never really talked to him. I’ve also heard that he is a huge fan of me (from YouTube). When I first got there he sat quietly in his chair. I’m not sure how much he was talking before, but he seemed really shy around me. I sat around talking to the group for a while but then Greyson said the first words I had heard from him, “Tristan, tell them your roommate story”. I asked “Which one?” with a smirk. “The first night he was there, him coming home late at night… yeah I heard about that”. I’m guessing Lilly or her mom told him about my roommate pissing all over the floor. So I told the story.
On a couple other occasions throughout the night he brought up other things that had been happening in my life. It was weird because he seemed to know more than the others about how college has been treating me. But I didn’t mind at all. He also asked if I was going to keep making videos in college and I told him I would really try and maybe I would dedicate a video to him in the future. He seemed really excited by that. I think I may have to do it just to make him feel special. While the others teased him about not going through puberty (he just turned 12, I have no idea why this even came up), I told him to enjoy it while it lasts because puberty isn’t fun. He has a little hair on his legs and a tiny bit on his upper lip. But that’s it. He also likes coming across as “innocent” and “adorable”. I like it too.
Saturday I went to lunch with two other friends, but this was more as a pastime until Mikey called me. I was already a little upset with him because he decided to go to a volleyball game Friday night when he told me that he would be free. At around 1 I called him only to be told “I can’t do anything this weekend”. Knowing how his plans tend to change, I didn’t instantly get upset. I went home and took a nap.
At 3, Mikey called and woke me. He told me I could come get him and Dylan now. With no hesitation, I did. When I got there I called him and he told me to come in, but I noticed his mom’s car was in the driveway so I decided to ring the doorbell to not come across as “rude”. He opened the door then walked away saying “What the fuck did you not understand about coming in, I was in the middle of a game?”. Wow, what a wonderful greeting. They finished the game and then got in my car.
No need to really explain the details because things seemed to be like they usually are when Mikey is around Dylan, always trying to come across as more “macho”. He even told me that he didn’t call earlier because he was watching a movie. But it’s funny, when he was writing the lyrics to the song on my laptop he sat extremely close to me on the couch and if Dylan had looked he would have noticed Mikey was obviously way past the “guy range” in our distance from each other. But he didn’t. Instead Dylan continued the usual asking about what I liked about guys and gave the usual answer that “You’re not gay”. He also asked me how often I think he should shave his crotch. I tried to answer that as “straightly” as possible. He also asked if I would suck a guy’s dick, and I said “yeah if I liked them enough”. “Yeah, you definitely are gay because a straight guy would never say that”. Duh. He asked if I would suck Mikey’s dick but I said no, only because I didn’t want Mikey to react badly. He also did the usual teasing of Mikey about being gay, and AS USUAL Mikey got mad at him but never denied it. I find that really interesting.
At around 6:00 Dylan told Mikey he wanted to go to a football game and a girl that Mikey liked would be there. So obviously Mikey was equally as excited to go, even though Dylan showed me a text from the girl saying she didn’t like him. They told me they would come back to my house when the game was over. For some reason I highly doubted this.
At about 11:30 I started noticing statuses on Facebook about us winning the game so I called him and asked where he was. He said the girls he was with wanted to go streaking at Wal-Mart. I tried my best to convince him not to do it and I think I talked some sense into him. They barely knew these girls and the girls were freshmen. What sluts. Anyways, he told me that he and Dylan would just come over early Sunday morning (at 8am) to work more.
So Sunday came, I woke up at 7:20 and took a quick shower. I called Mikey at 8, no answer. I called Dylan but his phone was off. I called Mikey again and he answered, obviously having just woke up. I asked him if they were ready for me to come. Mikey said Dylan wouldn’t wake up and that he was too tired and was going back to sleep. I sat on the phone in silence with him for like 2 minutes and just said “fine, but I leave at 3”. He promised he would call me as soon as he woke up.
Obviously that didn’t happen. I still haven’t heard from him since then and I’m half way back to school. But whatever. I must have been at the very bottom of his priorities this weekend, even though he knew I was mainly coming back for him. He didn’t even say bye to me Saturday because he swore he would be back.
I guess I will take this as a learning experience and a crucial step to letting him go, even though I want so badly not to. I have been trying to keep my mind off of him, and I’m not going to call him again until he calls me. If he wants to ditch me like that then it’s fine with me.
“This time I (am) leaving without you”