Thursday, August 25, 2011

Not So Bad

So as I said earlier, I was going to update you on how things went with Lyle today. But before that I wanted to talk a bit about how I have been handling college emotionally since I got here.

Up until like yesterday, I was feeling really down about everything. With college actually starting on Tuesday, the first 2 days were miserable and I became extremely homesick. Mainly because I like coming home after a long day of classes. But staying on campus I feel like I'm in a school environment 24/7. I've done some work to make my dorm room "my own" with decorations and such, but sharing this small space with two other guys who are messy and careless really ruins the "homey" feel. I would build a wall around my section of the room if I could. I just like having MY space. The good thing is they are out partying almost every day and every night. So I use that as my "alone time". But it's still temporary. I like coming home, throwing all my books down, closing my door, locking it, and laying in the middle of the carpeted floor staring at the fan and thinking back on the day. Lame, I know. And if I were to do that here (minus the carpet and fan) my roommates would probably assume I was high and use that as an excuse for them to smoke weed in the room. No thanks.

But yesterday, something happened. I came back to my dorm and sat down at the computer, and remembered I had my iPod with me. I set it up in my dock and began playing music. A sudden rush came over me, a type of familiar warmth that I hadn't felt since I got here. I honestly think music is what made me feel more "at home" here. It has played such an important part in my life over the past 2 years. I guess I had just forgotten how much I enjoyed listening to it. Music is my life.

It wasn't until about 15 minutes before I met up with Lyle that I began to get the butterflies. We had decided to meet at the drug store at 4:15, and at 4 I panicked and texted 3 of my friends asking them for advice on how to introduce myself to a "cute guy I met over the internet that goes to my school". I guess the fact that we had never seen each other in person was what bothered me the most. Would he think I'm cool, or annoying? Will he think I'm too ugly to hang with? Will things be awkward and we just stand there and look at each other?

Whatever the case, I started walking down there at 4:10 and when I was about halfway there I saw a guy walking my way. It was Lyle. My heart dropped. He had definitely seen me, probably nervously pretending to text. He came up and shook my hand (reminding me of Mikey). Oh, and if I mentioned he was cute in the last entry, I would like to correct that. He is HOTTTTT! Like, seriously the hottest college guy I've ever seen. His pictures do not do him justice. He's really tan, dark brown hair (that was wet from the shower), and the brightest green eyes I've seen. They legit glowed against his skin. He was very friendly and "formal" I guess I would say. Once we said hey to each other the nerves went away and I felt extremely comfortable around him. We decided to walk around the town together which ended up being about an hour of time together. I would have liked more and maybe dinner, but he had plans to go to this Christian group thing tonight. We talked about everything, from college to filmmaking (I learned that he is as into it as I am). We are soooo perfect for each other, except for the fact that he's 98% chance straight. Sigh. But oh well, we had a great time getting to know each other. I was proud of myself for taking the initiative to ask him to meet up and to actually go through with it and make it through the whole situation without being awkward. As we parted ways, he said we will do lunch together or something sometime soon and keep in touch about movie making. I told him if he had any ideas he wanted some help with let me be the first to know, and he said he would do the same. I smiled the whole way back to my room.

Oh, and if you're wondering why I picked the picture that I did for this entry. Firstly, I thought the boy was cute. Secondly, he has a similar appearance to Lyle. But Lyle is 18 and has the looks of a 15 or 16 year old. I love it. He's perfect in so many ways. He's a late bloomer from what I can tell. A little facial hair but really light colored and not enough to shave. I actually think Mikey has more than him. No, I'm not a fan of facial hair, but in can be cute if it's very light and looks like "peach fuzz".

I'm still debating about going home for the weekend. Mikey called today and as I was about to discuss it his mom came in the room yelling at him for something he did and made him get off the phone, and he never called back. So I guess the going home thing is out of the question, for now. But maybe that's for the best.

I'll update you as soon as something happens with Mikey, Lyle, or anyone worth mentioning. If you want, leave me questions in the comments below and I'll do my best to answer them in the next entry.


1 comment:

  1. You're such a good writer. Thanks for sharing your personal story with me. College brings back memories. Some advice: don't be a snob, your roomies sound messy but laid back. Better to have a fun slob than an anal retentive jerk. Did you ever see M.A.S.H.? Better to have Hawkeye than Charles.
    Wow, I just dated myself :)