Sunday, August 14, 2011

The "Final" Chapter

I waited a few days to post this entry because I wanted to see how these last few days unfolded. A lot has happened, but I will focus on things with characters that I have mentioned before instead of introducing you to new drama that really won't matter in the next few days.

Saturday Mikey and I met up at 11 for a day of filming. It was the first time I had seen him in a week and a half, and it was nice to see that he was his same old self. Not that I expected him to change much while at his grandparents. We went to get burgers and then picked up a friend of mine who we were filming with. Mikey was unusually quiet around her, but began to loosen up as time went on. After we took her home, we came back to my house to edit. I spread out a blanket on my floor and through all the pillows I had down with it. My bed is twin sized compared to his ginormous bed so I was hoping to make up for it. We sat together for a while and worked on it. I like being so close to him that I can feel the heat radiating from his body. It makes it so easy to "accidentally" put my arm, leg, or butt against his for a few minutes without it seeming intentional. After a while though he decided he wanted to finish the rest on his own and surprise me with the results. So I got up and did other things for a while. I noticed he would get frustrated with certain parts of the editing process and I would come over and help him. He was resilient at first but the more he struggled the more he asked for help. I didn't mind though. I like teaching him these things. At about 6 I took him home because he was going to some sports event with his friends, but 3 minutes after I left his house he called me and told me to come back because he wasn't going because of the weather. So I did. He came back to my house and ate dinner with us, then we went back to my room for some more editing and video watching online. Nothing in particular happened though. He did call me later that night about an hour after I had taken him home and we talked for 2 hours on the phone (while the power was out at my house).

Today, we made plans to go to the movies together. I really wanted to see Final Destination 5 but it was rated R. I devised a plan for us to get in since he was under age but the showtimes weren't the same. We tried to get tickets but they asked for his ID so we resorted to seeing Planet of the Apes. It wasn't a bad choice, but didn't give me any moments to hold or comfort him from being scared. I was planning to do that with the other movie. In fact, O had planned to make a move on him, even if jokingly, since I had nothing to lose. But he seemed to be really enjoying the movie and didn't talk to me very much at all except for the occasional comment about an actor or the special effects. And laughing at the loud black guy 3 rows in front of us. During the movie Dylan texted me 3 times that he was in the area and to bring Mikey to him when we finished, but I ignored them. Hey, it's Mikey's fault for not having a phone with him. But after we left they managed to get in touch and met Mikey at his house. I was glad they invited me to hang around because if not I would have been pissed to end it like that. I started to stay longer, but realized they were about to play video games so I decided to leave. I would rather end things on a good note after a good "movie date" (as Dylan called it). He actually did a lot of that, talking about how Mikey and I got all "color coordinated" for it. But whatever. Anyways, as I was leaving, Dylan asked if I was going to hook up with some chicks in college, I told him "probably, it's college, I can do whatever and whoever I want". Obviously that was a bit stretched, but the more "straight" I act around him, the more he likes me, even though he knows I'm gay. He attempted to do some weird handshake thing with me as I left but I failed at it like always. Not the usual cool guy handshake thing, something that I've seen only freshmen and younger guys do. It took me 2 years to learn the normal "cool" one, now they're trying to teach me another one, what gives??

So it came time to tell Mikey bye. The moment that was on my mind all day. The one I have dreaded for months. It was finally happening. In a strange way, it wasn't as sad as I thought it would be. I guess because I knew it didn't mean "The End". But the moment was here. I grabbed my laptop and began to leave after I told Dylan bye. Mikey came in the room:

Mikey: You're leaving?
Me: Yeah, I figured I would go home and finish this thing.
Mikey: Oh, bye.

Yep... that was it. Not only was I let down, I was a little mad at him. We had built our relationship so far this summer, and in less than 3 seconds, it was over. What a slap in the face that was.

As I was walking out the door, his mom came in the room and asked if I was leaving. I was EXTREMELY polite, in hopes to make up for our "incident" a week ago.

"Mikey, go get Tristan $12 out of my purse in the car."

I tried to plead with her telling her it was fine and I didn't mind that I paid for his ticket, but she insisted. So I walked with him outside and went to my car so he would have to bring the money to me.

Me: Thank you.
Mikey: So I guess this is it.
Me: Yeah, I guess so.
Mikey: Okay, bye. (starts to walk away)
Me: What, not even a goodbye hug?
Mikey: Sorry, I don't do hugs. Not because you're gay but I don't hug anyone. My mom, grandparents, anyone.
Me: Fine, I see how it is.
Mikey: I'll shake your hand though.
Me: That's "gayer" than a hug. (shakes his hand)
Mikey: Whatever.
Me: Bye, until whenever.
Mikey: Bye.

As I get in the car, he stops and turns towards me.

"I'll call you tonight", he said with a smile on his face. I nodded and waved. Then I pulled away.

But then I noticed that his wallet was in my car (Sorry this keeps going on and on, but it did in reality too). I paused for a minute. Should I take it to him now? Or should I use it as an excuse to see him after school tomorrow? Nah, I'll take it now. I pulled back forward and went to his door. I rung the doorbell but when no one came I just walked in. I saw his mom and told her that Mikey left it in my car. She kind of bitched out Mikey about being careless but thanked me for bringing it to her. I told her bye, and thank you very much for the money. I made sure to be particularly smiley, and she did the same. It felt good to realize I was back on her good side.

Okay, I admit that was better than the goodbye first started out. Sure, I would have really liked a hug, but the fact that he admitted to not hugging anyone made it seem okay, although I could have sworn I saw him hug Dylan once. I think our ending was a little influenced by Dylan and another friend being there anyways. It would be interesting to see what he was like if they weren't. But whatever.

He called me twice tonight, once to tell me that he was having Chinese food for dinner and again to tell me about his new bookbag he got for school. I told him to call me tomorrow to tell me about his first day of school, but he hesitated and he said he might if he feels like it. Saturday he said that he doesn't plan on keeping in touch with me while I'm away at college, but for some reason I really hope that was said jokingly along with his comment tonight. I will laugh if he calls me the minute school lets out. In a way, I'm kind of hoping he will invite me over to properly tell him goodbye, but that probably won't happen and I'm somewhat satisfied with how today went as a "closure".

You will notice "Final", "The end", and "closure" are all in quotations throughout this post. Meaning this is most likely not the end with Mikey. Hopefully things can continue. But for storytelling purposes this is the end. I do not plan on doing another entry dedicated to Mikey for a while, unless something extremely interesting happens tomorrow. I will mention him every so often just to give you an update, but I have a feeling in the next week or two I will have a whole new array of characters.

So this is goodbye. An ending to a Summer friendship with the first boy I've ever loved. While the love may not have been mutual in the way I wanted it to be, it was still one of the most exciting and physical friendships I've ever had.

Thank you Mikey, for showing me what it is to love.

-Tristan Skyler

1 comment:

  1. I'm proud of you for being such a gentleman, so patient and mindful of Mikey's feelings. But I'm disappointed you were afraid to show your true feelings. You don't need someone's permission to give them a hug. A kiss, maybe. Sex, definitely. A hug? Just do it.

    You can not expect Mikey to show feelings for you if you continue to hide your true feelings for him. Be an example.

    You'll probably meet someone at college and move on, but there's nothing like your first love. And there's a good chance Mikey will be calling. So I hope to hear about him again.

    Thank you for sharing your summer. I think it would make a GREAT film and America is ready for a gay teen themed movie, there's already been similar films I found clips of on Youtube from the UK and Japan. Just make sure you get a REALLY cute actor to play Mikey ;)

    Good luck on your next chapter. Can't wait to read about it :)