Monday, July 25, 2011

You Found Out

I was going to post this last night but by the time I got home it was really late and I wouldn't have had time to share it all in detail.

Yesterday, the group had planned to meet up around 1 to work on our next video. When the time came, everyone was acting like they didn't know about it and we couldn't get in touch with half the members. Mikey called me on the phone complaining about them and i agreed with him. We talked for about 30 minutes and at about 3 he called me again saying his mom said i could come over if I wanted to their family barbecue. I was a little weary about it since I didn't really know his family that well, but the fact that he invited me over out of all his friends meant a lot so I said yes. I got my stuff together then headed to his house.

When I got there Mikey greeted me at the front door and then we went into his room. His family wasn't there yet aside from his parents and sister, and I was glad because it meant some alone time. We got on Facebook and continued to argue with the other group members for a while. Then he decided we should go swimming. I changed in his bathroom and while changing he kept acting like he was going to open the door. I think he would have if I hadn't finished quickly. Anyways, more of his family started to arrive so the pool area became more crowded as we started to swim. Some of his cousins brought water balloons which Mikey got a hold of and started throwing them at me. It was actually a good way for me to get to know his younger family members because some were cheering for me and others for him. The best part of the fights were when we through one at each other in the pool and it didn't bust so we would both try to grab it at the same time and inevitably ended up grabbing each other underwater and pushing against each other. After swimming and throwing balloons for a while we took a break and went back to his room to watch YouTube videos together in his bed. It started out with us sitting on the side but we eventually moved up to laying beside each other. Not too close, but just the fact that he let me lay in his bed with him showed that he was really comfortable with me. We then went to eat, then back out to the pool (I didn't swim this time but watched him and his cousins playing. Mikey got a little hyper and started acting immature. At one point they were throwing ice cream and pepsi at each other on the back porch and made a huge mess. Mikey's mom got really pissed and made them all clean it up before they left. I started to clean but she said "No Tristan, don't you clean up their mess", but I told her I really didn't mind helping. After we finished his family left so Mikey and I headed back to his room.

This time things started out normal, we laid in his bed again watching YouTube videos. He kept putting his hands into his pants like normal, but this time he didn't have a shirt on. At one point he even pulled them down enough where everything was exposed, but as I glanced over he quickly covered up. I was a little surprised by that because we were laying right next to each other. That made it almost as "gay" as it could get, haha. But I didn't say anything about it...

Then things got bad. He grabbed my phone when I wasn't looking and started to go through my texts. Thinking back on recent conversations I've had with people about him I went into panic mode and jumped on top of him trying to take it back. He seemed to like this wrestling though, especially at the point when I laid on top of him while he held my phone under his chest face down, and I put my arms around him in sort of a "hugging" position, but I still couldn't get the phone, he flipped over, knocking me off then ran to the bathroom with my phone. His parents were in the living room so I wasn't going to storm into the bathroom after him. I let it go, figuring he wouldn't find anything. Boy was I wrong...

He came back in the room with this pissed off expression on his face, then handed me the phone, I asked what he read, and he showed me. It was a conversation I had with a friend while he was at the beach. Something along the lines of maybe she should try to be Mikey's friend to find out his sexuality for me so I can try again next summer and me saying that "I'm in love with him lol". He put on a shirt then told me he would let me off easy by kicking me out of the group and telling me that he would never talk to me again when I go off to college (earlier that day he told me that he didn't want me to leave). I was embarrassed, as well as angry with him for doing that. 

The most peculiar thing about it was, after about 2 minutes of his rant about not having anything to do with me, he got back in bed with me and went to watch more videos. He could tell I was still mad, and said "I don't get why you are mad at me, if I'm not mad about it you shouldn't be". I told him it wasn't that I was mad that he found out that I "loved him", but that he invaded my privacy. He told me he felt like it was his business since it involved him, but I argued that sometimes things are said because we aren't ready for that person to know yet and want to ask a friend for advice. 

After that, nothing more was said about it. He kept his shirt (and pants) on this time, but we seemed to scoot closer and closer together while laying watching videos. At one point we were side by side (touching at the hips and stomach) and when his mom knocked on the foor both of us reacted by instantly scooting away from each other, so we both knew it was happening.

He told me to get on the floor because he was going to bed, even though I knew he wasn't. When I got down there he started looking at porn on his iPod. I told him that he was missing out because it looked so much better on my laptop. He started out with the whole "I don't care" act, but when he found out certain videos wouldn't load on his iPod, he told me to hand him my laptop and lock the door and turn the lights off. So I did, and at the same time I sat with him in bed. I didn't do anything on the computer, I let him take control. He looked at a few sites and seemed to be turned on but said it was too awkward to do anything with me there since I was gay. I assured him that it was fine and I wouldn't care.

At this point i think I made a mistake by getting on Skype with a friend he wanted to meet, and doing so changed the focus off of porn. Which was too bad because I think that it might have went somewhere further if we would have kept it up until he got really horny. Oh well, at least I know his favorite porn sites if I'm ever over there that late again.

I left his house at about midnight (after being there for 9 hours), he thanked me for spending the day with him and I told him I enjoyed it.

Now, what do you make of the whole phone dilemma? I mean, to be honest I would be really weirded out if someone I didn't like was saying they loved me and really meant it. While he acted pissed at first, it almost came across as acting because he cracked a smile every now and then. Was it right for me to not bring it back up afterwards and explain? Would a completely straight guy (like he claims to be) be okay with knowing just a few days ago I was telling someone I loved him? Or pull out his junk when a gay guy is laying in bed right beside him? I guess if he really is straight I must have the wrong impression about straight boys all together.


PS: I didn't see Mikey today but we talked on the phone for about 3 hours and he almost invited me over because a friend backed out of plans but then took it back. I was a little let down, but he told me that he was sorry and he still loved me. Normally after he says that he says "not like that", but not this time. Hmm...

1 comment:

  1. Your story is captivating. You're always on about Mikey being honest, but you're the one who is not always honest. Now that Mikey knows how you really feel maybe things can move forward :) Start being a role model and opening up and maybe he will too.

    I've had crushes on boys who weren't gay. That doesn't change my feelings. A casual cuddle and 'I love you' is about as good as it gets ;)

    Don't forget at his age, Mikey's chemistry is going nuts so don't even try to figure out his desires. Good luck.