Friday, July 15, 2011

When Worse Comes to Worst

So I refrained from posting this yesterday so I could "sleep on it", in hopes that it would make everything better. Unfortunately that didn't happen...

Yesterday was our last day of filming. We only had like 2 pages of the script to do so I figured it would go over pretty easy. When I got there (Mikey wasn't there yet), Justin, Dylan, and Nemo were playing this football game on Xbox. I sat there watching them until Mikey got there as well as the last person in the group. They turned the game off so I figured we were about to go start filming. But then Mikey handed them this fighting game that they put in and began playing. I didn't say anything, but I was starting to get annoyed because we only had about 2 hours of shooting to do, tops.

Then an hour went by... again I remained silent. I got on my laptop and began "editing" (playing clips from what we did the day before to hopefully remind them of the reason we were all there), Dylan then suggested that we start filming. I agreed completely, but they seemed to ignore us. So Dylan got up and turned the game off. They all started yelling at him but eventually got their stuff together and we headed down into the woods. Shooting went okay, but you could tell that everyone had the mindset of playing the game rather than doing it. There were plenty of "let's just get this done" and certain game references. But nothing too big of a deal. We got to the point where we had one page left, but we forgot a few props back at the house so we headed up. When we got there a few people decided to take a water break, which turned into a snack break. Then Mikey said "Let's go play the game for a while". I was beyond pissed. We only had maybe 30 minutes of shooting left and he couldn't wait until we finished. So I calmly said, "Ok well if you guys do that then I'm leaving. I'll leave my camera here for you guys to finish". They all got silent. Dylan agreed with me and said for them to come back outside. But the rest of them went upstairs to play the game. So I went up with them. As I was walking up the stairs I heard Mikey and Justin whispering. I couldn't make out entirely what they said, but I did hear Mikey say "He goes off to college soon anyways". When I got up there they were quiet again, then Mikey said "Justin has something to ask you", but Justin quickly retaliated with "What the fuck Mikey, you were the one who said that", so Mikey asked me "What day do you leave for college again?" I told him the date and he looked over at Justin and said "That's less than a month away, then he'll be gone anyways. It's not like he matters". That was it. Soon after they turned on the game. I picked up my stuff and got ready to leave. They all looked at me and were like "Really?". I told them Mikey could direct the rest of it and Dylan could do the camerawork. Dylan begged that I stayed, but Mikey said "Yeah, we can do it ourselves, bye". They convinced me that they would play one round and then work on the video again. So I stuck around to see if that would happen.

When the round was done, they all turned and looked at me, then Mikey clicked "Rematch". I grabbed my stuff again and began to leave. Dylan once again got up and turned the game off. This pissed everyone off but Nemo. Nemo agreed that we should go finish up. Mikey had the worst attitude of them all. He kept saying things like "I don't even care about this stupid thing anymore, let's just get it done so we can get back to the game" and "If we were playing the game we could all be having fun unlike some people". So that was my breaking point. I exclaimed:

"Really Mikey? Then why are you even in the group in the first place? I see why everyone wanted you out. If you keep that up I'm out and you're doing everything yourself. It's your script."

I couldn't help it. I had the same kind of anger as I do when I'm yelling at my dad. As the words were coming out I could feel the pressure coming off of my mind and heart. I don't know how to explain the feeling, but I'm sure you all know what I'm talking about when you blow up at someone you feel deserves it at the time.

Everyone was quiet after that, but they continued to get ready. We waited outside for everyone to finish getting costumes on and none of us said a word. Mikey said a few things trying to break the tension but it didn't work. Justin's parents were looking out the window watching us, they knew something was up because earlier they yelled "If you guys are going to start back-talking each other then I think it's time for everyone to go home and cool off".

We went to film the final scenes, and while it went faster than anything we had shot before, it lost it's fun factor, especially with Justin and Mikey (Justin refused to get fully in costume, and Mikey kept making game references about ways he would kill "someone"). We finished, and then everyone went upstairs to play the game, except for Mikey who had to call his mom. I took the opportunity to apologize to everyone else about the way I acted but they told me they completely understood and they were glad I did that. much for my optimistic attitude yesterday. No way did I see this coming. I texted with Dylan and he told me "Just ignore Mikey, he will get over himself. He's a freaking idiot and needs to grow up. None of this would be possible without you. Ignore him, he's nothing." That was a little relieving, coming from one of Mikey's best friends. I'm starting to think that Dylan cares about me more than Mikey. I hated thinking that everything between Mikey and I may be over. His immaturity showed more than ever, but mine did too for lashing out at him. I don't want to take back what I said, because I felt he needed sort of a wake up call to let him know he couldn't get away with everything just because he knew I liked him. I just felt like all chances of him liking me back were ruined.

Since then, I have been waiting on him to get on Facebook and message me, hoping that he would apologize and I could do the same. I'm not making the first move because it will seem like I am backing down first, giving him the advantage. I want him to think through the way he acted and take responsibility for himself.

What do you think I should do? Do you think anything between Mikey and I is forever doomed? Will this tear us apart or make us stronger? Is it wrong for me to wish things were like they used to be? I will leave you with this status he posted 2 hours before I woke up this morning.

"video games ruin friendships and cause people to change (dylan, justin, nemo, tristan, mikey)"


1 comment:

  1. Tristan,
    It's hard for most of us to gain perspective. All you have to do is re-read your blogs :)

    There should be NO question that Mikey likes you. He called you his best friend many times. When Mikey thinks about your leaving in a month, how is he supposed to react? Cry? Run into your arms? Get real. A kid his age will get MAD and try to push you away rather than face losing you.

    You apologize to Mikey ASAP and tell him you're sorry you're leaving and that you will miss him. Don't be an idiot. You need to act YOUR age.

    A BL loves the free spirit of young boys. Sometimes that spirit comes out immature, but we can't fault kids for being immature, can we? Know when to act their age and when to act yours. Kids like video games, end of story.

    It's not too late. There's nothing like the rebound. But you're running out of time. Stop trying to convince yourself that Mikey is 'the one' and just go for it. Tell him how you feel. If you're leaving in a month, what's there to lose? NO REGRETS! Good luck my friend.