Thursday, July 7, 2011

Tristan Talks: The Prequel

So I've spent all morning importing the entries from my old blog into this one. I didn't think it was possible to do it without them appearing to be posted on the day you import them, but actually they show as the original date.

I want to consider this new selection of entries the PREQUEL to Tristan Talks. I realize there are many typos and grammatical errors but try to overlook that. I was only 16 and was only writing to an audience of 2 or 3 regular readers.

You can read the first entry here:

The new "prequel" entries range from February, 2010 - November, 2010.

Here are a few explanations of my current situations with those mentioned. If you don't want any "spoilers" then I suggest you read the entries first.

Blake - I'm over him, WAY over him. He has changed a lot since his freshman year (he's soon to be a junior). He still looks good, not going to lie, but he is a pothead now and is constantly posting rap quotes about getting high on Facebook. I haven't chatted with him since class with him, but this past Christmas, the drama club was doing a gift wrapping at the mall and we ran into each other in the bathroom (which is interesting because that's where I had my first meeting with him at school, lol). We said hey to each other and that was about it. Other than that, we have had no contact.

Lilly - She is still a close friend of mine, and I do still have some interest in her, but she has a boyfriend now and is going overseas for an exchange year in Europe (jealous). She still acts a little shy around me, but I can't blame her because I'm the same way around her. I just wish we were closer.

Alejandro - He's even more of a flamer than he was back then. I have no interest in him at all. He has lost his cute factor, and has become really stuck up. He hangs out with all the preppy girls and puts on a fake attitude of being super gay. When anyone thinks of gay people at my school, they think of him. It's disgusting. No contact since previously mentioned besides comments on Facebook statuses.

Duncan - I lost interest in him over time because of his weirdness. I liked him because of it at first, but then he just proved to me that he wasn't gay but instead a huge video game nerd with 2 or 3 friends that he'd do anything for. We tried making videos together at one point but he'd rather do it with his other friends. We still talk (in fact he just messaged me today asking if I wanted to help with a project, I said yes but I'm beginning to regret my decision).

As you can see, although my attraction to Blake was VERY strong, but it was still nothing compared to Mikey. I said something along the lines of "true love can only come from distancing yourself from someone, and seeing Blake everyday, I will never reach that point with him". With Mikey, I don't see him every day, and I think that has caused my feelings for him to be stronger than anyone before.

So yeah, I hope you enjoy my past entries for what they are worth. I wanted to share them because I felt they deserved to be here since they are pretty much the same thing. You will notice I considered myself bisexual in the earlier ones, which slowly progressed to gay.

Also, I want to address a comment I received on my last entry.

Anonymous said...

That a boylover will stay with the same boy after he has passed the age of attraction and we live happily ever after is the Gold Ring of Boylove Lore. Don't fool yourself. It has never happened. If it has, I'd like to know about it. Loving boys is who we are. Yes, I can have feelings for someone older, even grow old together. But my life mate has to understand what I'm attracted to- that will never change. To think otherwise is leading a life of denial and dissatisfaction.

Maybe it was wrong for me to consider myself a boylover in the first place then. But please don't try to tell me that I would be fooling myself if I believed that my future with Mikey would continue after he gets older. Not everyone is the same. Gay, straight, boylover, whatever. You can't judge how my heart and mind works just because it has "never happened before". That's why I try to avoid labels, I am myself and I'm not trying to limit my feelings to a social classification.

Anyways, I have some ideas for daily entries until Mikey gets back. Hopefully my new prequel will keep you entertained until then.


No comments:

Post a Comment