Sunday, July 10, 2011

Giving and Taking

This is more of a normal entry. I figured I would post it since there probably won't be one for a while.

Mikey came back home yesterday from vacation. I was thinking that I would have to be the first to message him, but as soon as he posted "I'm home" as a status on Facebook he IMed me. We talked a little about the trip, and then about our future plans to work on another project. We decided to have a meeting at Justin's house (one of the other group members) Sunday at 2pm (today).

So fast forward to today at about 1:30. I text Dylan to ask if we are still meeting. 10 minutes go by, no response. I text Justin.... no response. I post on response. I call Mikey... his phone is off. At this point I'm beginning to think that maybe they are all purposely avoiding me. But finally at about 1:50 Dylan texted me back saying yes, so I came over.

When I got there, Mikey wasn't there yet. Just Dylan, Justin, and 2 other members. Another worth mentioning, named Nemo. I've always considered him the best looking of his siblings, but today I seemed to notice even more than that. Even before Mikey got there, I determined that he was now the best looking guy in the group. Even though he hadn't gone through puberty in any level yet (he's 15). Anyways, the first thing Dylan said when I walked in the room was "Tristan, have you ever filled a condom.......with water?". I told him I was about to ask it depended on what he meant I filled it with. They laughed, and then he told a story about using one to jack off and it took forever because he couldn't feel it. Then Mikey came. It was my first time seeing him (besides Skype), in almost 2 weeks. He was a lot darker, and had some bumps on his face. For some reason something else looked different about him. I wasn't sure what it was, whether he were taller, slimmer, or just more mature looking. But he was still attractive.

I had a bad feeling at the start of the meeting. Mikey and I said nothing to each other at all, and it seemed like he didn't even look at me. We both sat there quietly while the others talked about wrestling, but didn't make an attempt to talk to each other. I wanted to, but didn't want to make the first move (like always). We finally all started talking as we read through the script, and Mikey finally started looking at me, but no statements directly to me. I still felt a little awkward and slightly embarrassed. Afterwards, there was another awkward moment when the guys were discussing wrestling and both Mikey and I were quiet. Again, nothing was said between us. We decided to go through the script and edit it. Mikey was the one who wrote it, so I had to be careful with what I said.

I guess I wasn't careful enough. Every suggestion that I had he blew off and seemed to get angry about. Even small changes, like cutting a line or switching words around. I guess he saw it as his work and he didn't want anyone doing anything. He reacted the same way when others tried to correct him. I eventually just gave up and didn't offer any mores suggestions.

My mind started to race at what I could have done to make him mad at me and if I was completely over him. I didn't like the attitude he seemed to be giving me, even before we even spoke. Did his vacation make him realize I wasn't important to him? Did he decide to do everything in his power to make me not like him anymore? I didn't know, but it had to end soon or I was out of there.

Afterwards we went into the woods to find a location for the video, Mikey and I started out far apart, but he gradually made his way back to me to tell me ideas he had for the video. I tried to act normal, because I didn't want to give the impression that I was angry with him. We came back inside, then sat at the dining table and cooled off. Justin and Nemo were playing videos on their laptop and most of the group were watching. I glanced over at Mikey and he was writing on a piece of paper, which he passed to me, and then we passed it back and forth. This is pretty much how that written conversation went.

Will you take me home?
Can we stop and get food?
Hmmm... what have you done today that deserves for me to get you food?
I worked for 3 hours on that script last night and worked hard today....please?

He then cheered, and the other guys looked at him like he was crazy, but then got back to the laptop. We took a few group pictures and then Mikey decided he was ready to go.

The car ride was quiet at first. But then he finally started talking about Dylan and how annoying he was while they were on vacation together. We carried on small talk until we got to the restaurant. The lady recognized us from the last time we were there (Dylan was hitting on her... so embarrassing). We got our food and then talked. All of my previous negative feelings towards him disappeared. It was like old times. He acts so much better when he's just around me. We joked around, talked about serious stuff, everything. Oh, and he apologized for seeming mean back at Justin's house, said he was just annoyed with all of them. I thought that was really sweet for him to bring that up, since it had been about 4 hours since we edited the script. I told him it was fine and I understood.

Afterwards I took him back home, and we sat in the driveway talking some more and planned to go prop shopping tomorrow. We set a time, but I told him to call me to make sure.

When I got home, I got a message from him saying he couldn't go tomorrow and his dad said he couldn't do anything with us all week. He said it was punishment for the way he was at the beach. I was pissed, and so was he. When the group found out they decided to do another video without him, which he wasn't too happy about but said it was fine cause there was nothing he could do. So that means another week (at least) without him. I thought this was over!!! It sucks because I wasn't expecting today to be our last day together. I want more time with him. His parents have put me through enough going on vacation for a week, and now they are taking him away from me again??

The only good thing that may come out of this is he might be online a lot this week. Now that he knows about Skype, I may convince him to download it even though he doesn't have a cam, so we can at least talk. I even considered buying him a webcam... but that may be too much. I don't really have too much money to spend right now.

Unless one of you wants to give me money to buy him a webcam....any takers? ;)


1 comment:

  1. Tristan,
    I have no advice for you because you're doing great! Thanks for your honesty and for sharing your private emotions. The twists and turns of a relationship make for great reading. Continued good luck on finding happiness.