Friday, July 8, 2011


So I wanted to do this entry a little differently than normal. I was thinking a lot last night about my childhood and how my life used to be before all this bi/gay stuff became important. No, I don't mean just sexual experiences, but anything in general (playing with Hot Wheels cars in the yard, going exploring in the woods, or just playing pretend). So I decided to do this entry on it. (This was originally going to be titled "Experimentation" but decided not to since it will cover different things.

The earliest memory I have of anything that hinted to be what most consider "experimenting', was with my friend Jacob. He lived in my neighborhood right across the street and we were best friends for the majority of my growing up. We hung out almost every day, and rarely had any big arguments. He was 3 years older, but I didn't let that come in the way of our friendship.

I remember one time when I was about 8 or 9 we were playing in the woods along the road and hiding from cars. We tended to do this a lot, I'm not even sure why. It's not like we were doing anything to get in trouble. But I remember one day as we were laying behind a log, Jacob and I had the following conversation:

Jacob: Are you gay?
Me: What does that mean?
Jacob: You know... do you like boys?
Me: Oh. Umm...I don't know. Maybe, do you?
Jacob: Maybe.
That's as much of it I can remember, even when I try my hardest to remember what happened next, if anything at all. I would think if anything did happen, I would remember.

There were also other instances with Jacob where we would go behind my house and "do things". Again, I don't remember what, and I don't think there was any touching involved. I only remember one occasion where I dared him to stand behind the house completely naked. He told me not to look, but I did anyways, for 6 seconds. We also built a secret treehouse in the woods, but we never used it for anything besides talking.

Now Jacob is 21 and we haven't talked in over 6 years. I guess we just kind of lost interest in each other. Oh, and he's definitely straight. But I do wish we had actually done something more...err...erotic?

While I'm on the topic, there were also some other kids Jacob hung out with that i didn't like. They were all brothers or cousins or something. The youngest was about 7 and the oldest 16 (I was 11 at the time). I remember they did a lot of mean things, but i still hung out with them. There was this one point where we were at the creek and they tried to convince me to take my clothes off and get in. I didn't want to, so they called me names and then got in themselves. I didn't stick around long, but I did notice that some of them were playing with themselves and getting the youngest one to help them. I ran off crying because of the things they called me. If it would have been now, I would have sooooo stayed to watch and join in haha.

I guess the only real sex play I had was with this other neighborhood kid that i didn't become very close with until I was about 11. He was 2 years younger. We never did any of the normal hanging out stuff, just video games or whatever. But I do remember he came with us on vacation on several occasions when we took our RV. Every time my parents went to the beach alone they left us there. We would start out playing video games, which we alternated who's turn it was every hour. But sometimes, Caleb (the friend) would want an extra hour, so he would ask what he could do to make me let him play. Not a good question to ask an 11 year old with raging hormones just going through puberty. So I told him to let me watch him change out of his bathing suit. So he did so, right in front of me. For some reason, I went in for a hug, which he accepted. i held him tightly, and i could feel him get hard, and I was probably the hardest I had ever been in my life. (Note: I PROMISE this is the only time i will get sexual like this in my blog!) We tried to fall over onto the bed, but only caught the edge and then slowly fell over to the ground. I felt tingly all over, better than an orgasm. I can't explain the feeling other than it was pure Ecstasy (It is worth mentioning that to this day I have never experienced that same feeling). He told me that was enough, so i let him go, and he got his extra hour.

After the first time, it was hard to stop this "deal". Over time the tasks became more and more extravagant. I would have him get completely naked on the couch, and to let me give him the "good feeling". I'm not sure if I could cum at that point, but I definitely knew how to masturbate. He actually liked me doing it, and sometimes I would get him to do it to me until "white stuff came out". this continued for the next 2 or 3 years we went on vacation, but we also did it some at my house or his. I remember going into the woods when i had just turned 13 after I promised myself that I wouldn't do stuff like that with him anymore. We went to this place across the creek and he stripped completely nude. At this point he could ejaculate, but not really thick enough to be cum yet. I sometimes would put his dick in my mouth to catch it and swallow. This eventually led to sucking.

Caleb moved away when I was 15, which i wasn't too hurt by since we hadn't talked in about a year. And I never really grew attached to him, just our private time together. I never "liked" him or wanted to go out with him. Just liked playing with his body. I was such a player, haha. Oh and by the way, he never did anything more than jack me off. And that was only 2 or 3 times.

This all goes to say, I haven't really had much experience with "sex play" when I was younger, besides what I did with Caleb. i think if I had done that stuff with Jacob, I would have grown attached because I considered him my best friend. Caleb was just a friend who I occasionally played video games with and did some masturbating with.

Do any of you want to share your experiences with me? I added a contact form (you can click the link at the top). I feel like that would be less intimidating than writing an email if you didn't want to give away your identity. But you can always email me at

Sorry if that got a little too sexual. I was motivated by stories like that I've read online, plus i was getting a little turned on thinking about it. Trust me, I could have went into a lot more detail than that. But I'm not here to turn all of you on (sorry!).


PS: Mikey wanted me to Skype him last night (Dylan convinced him to use it). We only talked for 10 minutes but it was a relief to see he was okay. plus his lower resolution cam made him look even hotter than he is in person. He's coming home tomorrow! We we we so excited.

PPS: Sorry for the random capitalization errors you may find in this. I decided to do this on my laptop and sometimes the shift key doesn't register...

No comments:

Post a Comment