Wednesday, June 8, 2011

Missing You, Missing You

Well, it's the end of my third day without Mikey, and it's not getting this better. As you've probably noticed, I tend to get VERY attached to the guys I like. Well, even moreso with Mikey because he has been so responsive to me. He's off on a week long youth camp and won't be back until Sunday. Every night before bed I think of what he might be doing and if he thought about me at any time during the day.

I hate to admit this, but I also am hoping he is lonely at camp and being ignored. That sounds like a HORRIBLE thing to say, but I guess I'm just jealous and don't want any guy to take my place, you know? I think I've shown him the most attention out of any of his friends, and I know that he likes that. I just don't want him getting that from anywhere else. Well besides his parents of course.

I know I'll probably never have him to myself like I want, but it's nice to wish. I plan to text him a day or 2 after he gets home and ask if he wants to hang out and talk about how camp went. I want to hear everything, even the stuff he probably promised not to tell anyone. There aren't any gay guys going, but there are lots of slutty girls. I'm really hoping he's smarter than that, and gayer than that too. He's a virgin, and I want him to stay that way... for now. What's surprising is that all his other friends are constantly getting involved with girls sexually, yet he refuses. He's had many opportunities, but turned them down.

I just think he's saving it for me ;)

That's all I have to update you on now. Thanks for all the comments on my last entry.

-Tristan Skyler


  1. Hi.. I understand you and pray for you. If I write my life story that will be the same as yours, except the the change in place, age elements. Wiah you all the best. And, isn't it a nice experience to think about a person whom you need the most all the time? It's nice, sweet....

  2. Dear Tristan:

    As far as I can tell, everyone who has posted on your blog wishes you well. I'm sure that the suggestion of "Anonymous" that you shouldn't blog about it if "something" happens between you and Mikey was motivated by concern for your welfare and Mikey's, not by a wish to censor you.

    I realize that you started this blog in order to express thoughts and feelings that you cannot express elsewhere, and that the play-by-play of your relationship with Mikey and how it affects you, moment by moment and day by day, has become your blog's heart and soul. I find your writing extremely compelling, and one of the things that makes it so compelling is your unflinching honesty. I respect and value that honesty, and I hate the idea of your having to censor yourself in any way.

    I think your feelings for Mikey are very beautiful and touching, and that you should not feel ashamed of them. Nor do I think you should feel ashamed of anything you've written on this blog. But as someone who, in the short time you've been blogging, has come to care a great deal about what happens to you, I feel that I would be betraying you if I didn't tell you that you must not underestimate the danger of making posts which either imply or state that you have had illegal sex with a minor. It is not a trivial matter. Many states have extremely long statutes of limitations for "child sex crimes." In Colorado, for example (to pick a state at random), they can be prosecuted any time from the time they are committed until the minor turns 28, or if DNA evidence taken within ten years of the crime helps to identify an alleged perpetrator, they can be prosecuted at any time in the future (with no statute of limitations). A ten-year-old blog post might not in itself be enough evidence to convict, but it could serve as probable cause to open an investigation. There's no reason to assume it wouldn't be "found" for ten years, however. Your blog is public. An incriminating post could be noticed by law enforcement the same day you put it up.

    There's something more I want to say to you. If you really love Mikey, you have a responsibility to protect him -- to think about what you're doing and how it may affect him, now and in the future. You have a responsibility not to create situations which may result in his being hurt, humiliated, or disgraced, and a responsibility not to bring yourself into disrepute in ways that may reflect negatively upon him or draw him with you into a vortex of personal disaster.

    I can offer you only one small ray of sunlight: "In all states, dating, hugging, holding hands, and kissing are not illegal" (again, You can probably blog about these activities, should they occur, with impunity (at least as regards possible legal consequences), though personally I believe that a gentleman does not kiss and tell. As ever, I am not a lawyer, so all my legal opinions are for entertainment purposes only.

    Keep safe.

    P.S. I, for one, would welcome any means of contacting you more privately.

    P.P.S. About hoping Mikey is lonely and ignored at camp: try to conquer that emotion, and wish for him instead in every situation all the happiness he would wish for himself.