Tuesday, June 28, 2011


Parden my grammer ;)

I'm going to start this entry back at Sunday because these past 3 days have been pretty eventful.

Mikey messaged me on Facebook discussing props for the video, so we decided that we needed to go to a costume store about 30 minutes away. We were going to wait until Monday to do it but he wanted to go right then, so I couldn't refuse. I picked him up and we headed out. I got lost on the way, and really tense because I don't like the city traffic, but he seemed to understand and keep quiet. We finally arrived and looked around, trying on random things. I took a picture of him wearing this funny hat and after he took it he said "So now I know what you fantasize about". We found what we were looking for, but decided to go to the mall nearby since we were already there. We went in one of those prank stores, which used to double as a sex shop but they seemed to have toned it down since I was there last. I was a little disappointed because I wanted to mess around with Mikey by embarrassing him with the toys. But he still wanted to get out of there pretty quickly because of what was there. We headed for the food court, and as soon as we got in line, there was an announcement that the mall closed in 10 minutes. I was a little pissed because I wanted to walk around with him some more, but I guess we had a good time. He reminded me on the way out "This WAS NOT a date". I responded "Maybe not to you...". He slept the whole way back to his house.

Mikey's friend Dylan texted and told me to come over at 2:30pm to work on the video, so I got my stuff together and headed out, We spent the entire day shooting the video, both at Mikey's house and around town. We had fun, but nothing special happened. Aside from the usual Dylan and I talking about how we think Mikey is secretly gay, of which he never denied but responded with "shut up!". At about 10pm we were done shooting, but Mikey wanted me to stay later and edit it there. So I called my mom and she let me stay. We had to go to my house to pick up my laptop first, which was interesting because I haven't brought a friend over in years. I just feel a little uncomfortable with friends at my house, I'd rather be at theirs. But anyways, after that we went to get something to eat, at which Mikey proceeded to embarrass me by overflowing his drink on the counter while Dylan flirted with the employee. I apologized for them. We went back to Mikey's house, where I edited the video with them watching. I was ready to go at 2:30, but Mikey convinced me to stay later, so I didn't leave until 3:30am. The latest I have ever stayed out. I guess I didn't really mind though.

Tuesday (Today):
Mikey and Dylan wanted me to come over ASAP and finish editing the video, so I again met them at 2:30 and immediately started working. I finally finished and decided to head home at 5:30 because I told my parents I would be home for supper.

One thing that I really wanted to mention... after spending 13 hours in one day with Mikey, my feelings for him sort of changed. But I'm not sure if it's permanently or not. After about 11pm he started to act really immature. Saying stupid stuff over and over again, rapping, and "accidentally" saying gay comments while freestyling because we thought it was funny the one time it was an accident. He acted...well....his age. But that's not what I like about him to begin with because I always thought he acted more mature. Dylan blamed it on his "midnight high", but I saw it as another side of his personality that I actually found annoying. This isn't to say I don't like him anymore, because I do. But my feelings for him emotionally aren't as strong as they used to be. I'm willing to give him a second chance though. Plus, I think that when he goes on vacation next week, my desire for him will spark back up again just like it was when he was at camp.

That's all for now, I hope that today wasn't the last time I will see him before he leaves. I need to come up with another excuse or "video idea".



  1. Tristan,
    Sounds like your fears about camp were all unfounded? Well that's life and growing up. You just have to go through it. Just try to keep a level head and not go overboard.

    I'm glad you acknowledge Mikey's age, you are seeing him as a real person and not a 'fantasy.' If its a quick thrill you seek, you may find that with him. But if you want a lasting relationship, you may be better off looking at college.

    No matter what happens never forget the impact it will have on Mikey. He is younger and you are responsible for him. He probably doesn't obsess about sex as much as you do. If you do fool around, be playful. It should be fun. Don't act like your getting married or anything. Don't dump your needs on him. At his age sex should just be for fun. Actually, that's true for any age :)

  2. Tristan,
    I'm sorry I didn't read you for awhile and missed commenting on "Alone" so I'm commenting on it here in hopes you'll read it :)

    It's normal after time away take awhile to get back into the swing of things. Mikey wasn't ignoring you, he was readjusting. You know that now.

    Yes it hurts when you don't get feedback from someone you love. That's the ebb and flow of love. Even married couples go through it. I'm glad you can admit when you're depressed so you can keep yourself from falling too hard. These are times to be nice to the beautiful young boy in you. And it doesn't hurt to say a prayer in your own fashion- that truly can work miracles!

    It's also okay to play 'hard to get.' Just know that young kids' attentions can be taken over quickly by all kinds of things- video games, sports, etc. If he finds something else to do don't panic. He will come back. Good friends are hard to find :)