Sunday, April 10, 2011

Pornography or Curiosity?

At what point does looking at pictures of naked people switch from general curiosity to pornography?

I've been interested in the same age group of boys since I was 12 or 13. At the time, I visited a lot of boylove sites (Yes, in case you didn't know, young guys actually look at those too. I did anyways...). I enjoyed looking at pictures of boys my age, especially their "privates". I guess it was sort of for comparison at the time. I did come across some of the illegal kind of pictures but it scared me enough that I didn't look at that for quite some time. Not by the content, but by the fact that if I were caught I would be in big trouble. I remember looking at several "boys art sites" as they were called with nude pictures of boys (nonsexual) and found those very arousing. I remember when I was 12 my mom caught me looking at one once. She didn't say much except for "that's something your father would do". I'm assuming she meant the porn part... not the fact that it was boys. Hopefully, lol. I don't think she saw enough of it to actually realize what I was looking at. I almost got caught several times actually. I would always quickly turn my computer off and use the excuse of it freezing. Yeah right, she knew. Anyways, at the age of 14 or 15 I began to explore deeper into sites and eventually stumbled upon the not-so-innocent kind. Again, it scared me, but I couldn't help looking. It was very exciting at the time to see boys my age and younger doing sexual stuff together. The ones with older men in them disgusted me though, and couldn't imagine that boys were forced to do some of those things.

As I got older, I realized that this was a real problem and could cause serious legal ramifications when I became an adult. Now, I stick to mostly nonnude models to get my "pleasure". Even though I'm still a minor, I worry about what I will be like when I'm 18 and in college. I defintiely can't be looking at stuff like that. I'd rather not risk getting kicked out of school. Sadly, regular gay porn doesn't interest me at all unless the guys look really young. And that's a rarity because even with the makeup and photoshop work, their bodies no longer look like kids or young teens. It's not that I'm grossed out by it, I'm not. It's just that mentally I'd rather see younger guys experimenting.

I fear I may have gone into too much detail in this post. Please don't think of me in a bad way. I'd never do anything to force a boy to have sex with me. That's not what I'm saying at all. I'm just saying that younger boys are my preference, but I know in today's society that is taboo and to see any of that is illegal.

My next entry will be on experimentation. I'm going to really open up to you, and hopefully not regret it.

In other news, you may have noticed I added a picture to my profile. Yes, it's really me. It's from about a year and a half ago, and I did a lot of editing to make myself look at least a little attractive, even though I know I'm not.

Oh, another hobby of mine: photoshopping boys to look even cuter. So if you have any pictures you want me to edit for you let me know. I can make any boy look beautiful. I hope to get an email set up for this blog very soon but for now just leave me links in the comments.

Stay golden,


  1. hey tristan i gotta say photoshopped or not u r very handsome an attractive i would love to see u smile or help u smile :) anyways have a great day love

  2. I would agree with David.. you are very handsome. And you seem to have a great heart even though you are going through a tough time in your life. I have been there and done that, if you ever need someone to talk to, send me an email avalanchefan77 at

    Byron (27yr old)

  3. Dear Tristan:

    I enjoyed reading your blog, and I hope that I will be able to continue
    reading it for a long time to come. Like the other people who
    commented, I also enjoyed seeing your photo, photo-shopped or not, and I also found you attractive. Nonetheless, I strongly suggest that for
    your personal safety, you should remove that photo from your blog.
    Writing about the taboo topics you're writing about could eventually get
    you in trouble all by itself, even if, as I hope, you are not using the
    real names of the people you mention (like Mikey). But at least reading
    a blog and trying to connect the information posted to someone you might know in real life requires a certain amount of work, chance knowledge of a series of events or a number of facts which everyone in your life might not know about, and at least a little intelligence. A photo makes you instantly, effortlessly, and unmistakably identifiable to everyone who knows you or has even the slightest contact with you, and included in that number may be some who might do you very great harm, were they to discover that you are the author of "Tristan Talks."

  4. hey tristan im 16 and im the same way and have the same thoughts its a little weird anyways keep posting i enjoy the content

  5. I miss you...