i dont consider myself gay, but i dont necessarily consider myself straight. in fact, i don't like having only those two set definitions for sexuality. No, i'm not sexually attracted to girls, but i feel i can grow emotionally attached to them and like them for their personality, and build a relationship from that. but i am more physically attracted to guys, but not necessarily their mindset or their personality. so i would not say i'm really bi, because i like both genders for different reasons, but if i ever met a guy with a great personality then i would not be afraid to try and build a relationship off of that if he felt the same.
I sent that but he never logged back on to check it, so this morning I sent him the following message:
I assume you had to go last night and that's your reason for not replying. I just wanted to let you know that I trust you with that information and hope you would not share it with anyone. If you do and I eventually find out, I would be forced to cut off our friendship. I hope that what I told you last night does not change anything between us and doesn't affect our friendship. If you have any questions about it or comments don't hesitate to ask or make them.
He came on this evening and asked if he could call me but I convinced him that I would be more comfortable talking by chat. I hoped to be able to post the whole conversation here but Facebook chat cuts off the history at a certain point so the first hour or so of our conversation has been removed. He was basically asking the same stuff over and over again, why if I still had an interest in girls would I CHOSE to be gay. He still never really got it through his head that I didn't chose to be anything. Here is the part of the conversation that I do have left.
idk, its just still kinda hard to believe regardless of the things uve said before. i dont really know much more to say. i cant force u to like anyone. its ur choice. i like girls, but u dont so its up to u not me. im not gonna judge u, i just dont think ur making the right decision
there was no decision making involved. i didnt chose to like guys, its just how ive always been. just like you didnt chose to like girls
u cant be born the way u r. its not possible. something along in ur life has convinced u that guys r better than girls.
and i respect your opinion. but its just something that has always been a part of me, im just now chosing to accept it
well u said u still have some interest in girls. so somewhere along i ur life, it slowly faded while u grew in interest for guys
no, i never lost interest in girls, i never had it. my only interest in them is their personality but thats not enough to build a relationship from
well its just hard to believe. do u have freinds that r guys that like guys
yes, but none in person that i am really close to. none of them know. thats what makes it so hard for me
but its not gonna change how i am
hope it wont
and i hope you wont tell anyone, this is just between us
ok, well r u ever gonna tell anybody else
eventually but i am very careful with who i tell, only people i can trust
so u wont even tell ur parents
NO, definitely not
ok, i was just asking. would u fell comfortable like talking about it to a counsleor at ur school?
no because i dont think its something that needs counseling. its just something i have to learn to live with and
just accept as a part of me
well ok, i didnt mean that in a bad way. i just thought u should hear others opinions of people u could trust
yeah but no matter what other people try to tell me it wont change who i am. i cant just be like "i want to be interested in girls", it doesnt work that way
i dont mean it like that
u know that too
im just saying yeah ive heard other opinions on it my whole life. our old school was very against it, but no matter what people try to tell me is "right" it cant change how i am. it only makes me less self confident
so what do you think about all this? be honest
well i dont think its right. but i cant change ui
ok, well thats your opinion. but does it change your feelings towards me?
no, as long as it doesnt change u?
*forget the ?
no, it wont change me, like i said ive been this way for like 5 years, so ive been this way as long as uve known me
so do you have any more questions? you can ask anything
no i dont have anything else to ask
well actually i do
dont take this in a bad way at all
but would u rather have sex with a guy or a girl?
i see sex as something in the distance for me, i dont believe in sex without a serious relationship. but if i had that kind of relationship, i would chose guy. like i said, im more attracted to them physically
but like i said, ive never done anything, and if i did it would have to be a lot stronger relationship than anything i plan on having soon. a lot of trust has to be involved.
yeah, i see
but i am very limited on what i consider the "perfect guy" is for me
ok like what do u consider the perfect guy for u
well moreso looks. if you mean by personality then it would be the same as a girl. but i have certain physical characteristics that i find more attractive than others. blonde or brown hair, blue or green eyes, skinny but not too skinny, etc.
id show you an example but that might be a little weird to you lol
ill show u a pic but its no one i know in person
that guy had big ears
haha whatever. i mean the face and stuff
yeah i know, he looked like a blonde heade justin beiber
i guess haha, but justin bieber is cute too in my opinion
i just dont like the way he acts. but other than that he is cute (to me)
but it seems like more and more guys are becoming attractive to me as i get older.
11:06pmRon is offline.
Sorry about the weird formatting but that's the only way it would let me paste it. Anyways, that's basically all he said about it. Yes, it upsets me, but there's really nothing I can do about the way he sees it. I just hope it doesn't change anything between us. I like having him as a friend but if he rejects me because of this, it's his loss, not mine.
What are your thoughts on this? Bad idea or good idea?