Sorry I haven't updated in a while. Been busy with other things.I'm sure you are all DYING to know what happened between me and Alejandro (not). Well, as I guessed, nothing. We texted again a few days afterwards but it wasn't about much. Although he did give me some ideas of other gay guys at my school that I didn't know about. My friend told me that she bets he was interested in me until I told him I wasn't planning on coming out any time soon. Oh well, I just don't like that he knows my secret, which may not be a secret much longer.
I'm becoming a lot more open about it now and have a feeling the next time someone asks I will say yes. I've come to realize that people today are way less judgmental than I thought, and some of the most popular seniors were gay. It all depends on who you associate with. My friends from my old school would probably shun me if I told them I was gay. But the ones I have at school probably could care less.
I don't really get what I would do to "come out". I mean, what would I change? I'm not gonna become super flamboyant because that's not me. I don't plan on changing, but I wish there was a way to let people know without directly saying it myself. I thought about putting it on Facebook, but I have too many people on there who are friends with my parents so that might not be the smartest idea. I'm not planning on making any hasty decisions, but I'm slowly building up the confidence to be more open about it.
So time to bring up someone I haven't mentioned in a long time. Lilly. I went with my friends to the library during lunch on Thursday at school and saw her sitting at a table working on something. My friends knew her too so we sat with her. We found out she was making a 39 in Chemistry and her mom told her if she doesn't pull it up to at least a C she couldn't take any more drama classes. This was really out of character for her because she is one of the smartest people in her grade. But when she told me her teacher I knew that he was the problem, not her. I had heard many people last year complaining about him, and the guy who was #3 in our class was also failing. Anyways, I offered to let her copy my worksheets so she could turn them in. Why is it that I try to win everyones heart by cheating? Anyways, I gave her the notes on Friday morning but we didn't get to talk long. However, we made up for it Friday night by talking after the drama awards. I really like her personality, and I think that she is really pretty, but still, I am attracted to guys and don't want to get too involved with her because I would feel like I was being dishonest. Or is that what I want? This whole "bi" thing is so confusing!
That's about it for now. I'll try to update more often but this summer seems like it is going to be pretty uneventful. Except for when I go on my Europe trip in July with this gay guy (not just us, it's a school trip). But according to Alejandro he has a boyfriend. Oh well, maybe he will be up for some cheating. There I go again...
Until next time my lovely!