Friday, March 26, 2010

New Design and Raging Hormones

Dear Diary,

I gave you a face-lift. Hopefully the new design is more appealing. I really like it.

Thanks for the interaction on my last entry. I received some questions through Formspring which I will answer later in this post. Thank you Danny and "Anonymous" for your comments.

Is it possible for raging hormones after you have gone through puberty? Lately I have noticed my mind has been on love a lot and I find so many more people attractive. I used to be very selective with who I considered "hot". Now I find something attractive about most guys I see (and some girls). Although I still think freshmen are the cutest, there are some sophomore and junior guys that are really cute. I don't know when I started noticing them all but it hasn't been more than 2 weeks.

Forget the whole "I'm over Blake" thing. That was a lie. I was over him for a day but back to being obsessed with him the next. He got called out and threatened by the teacher on Wednesday giving him his last warning for being on other sites and programs when he's not supposed to. He's definitely more respectful now. I see in him what I saw in him a long time ago. A sweet, somewhat innocent boy. And the burgundy Aeropostale tight long-sleeve shirt he was wearing yesterday was soooo cute. That was the first point since my last entry when I noticed how attractive he was again. It's in his build, skin, and eyes. His eyes are amazing and his long lashes really make them stand out. It's official, I'm in love again.

In our drama club meeting yesterday they asked for volunteers for people to portray "paparazzi" at this year's "red carpet" themed prom. They want drama students to stand beside the carpet and flash our cameras and interview the  students. It sounds a little cheesy but I think it would be fun. I wasn't planning to sign up though until I saw Lilly put her hand up. She is a sophomore so she wouldn't be able to go to prom but this way she could. Sure, she would have to stand at the entrance the whole time but at least she is there. Plus I believe she is moving this summer so this may be her last chance. I immediately volunteered. I wasn't planning on going to prom anyways and this way I can "technically" go to prom with her. I just hope we get to stand near each other and talk. I REALLY like her personality. She's the only one I would want to be with at prom anyways. Well, the only girl that is...

So what do you think? Why am I just now becoming attracted to so many people and seeking to fall in love? I never really cared about any of that stuff until the middle of last year which was long after I went through puberty. Is it a level of maturity? Tell me your thoughts.

- TS

1 comment:

  1. Difficult to say why you're suddenly finding more people attractive.

    It could be a meta-cognitive thing - you understand yourself better and so you're more able to accept what you like about other people. Most people have at least one aspect of them which is attractive or love-able, it could just be you're now consciously aware of it in more people.

    In general I get the feeling, from the way you talk about people and life, that you aren't really a lustful person. You're looking for more. Its obvious from the way you've been talking about Tristan's behavior in class that your crush is based on more than just simple physicality. It might be the first thing to attracts you, but its personality which fills in the picture. If you have similar feelings surrounding these other people you're finding attractive now then I'd be very doubtful that its at all hormonal.

    It could simply be that you're feeling lonely and so you're more willing to accept a wider variety of potential partners. Most people hit points in their lives where they feel lonely and actively seek love. Maybe you're experiencing that.

    Just a few ideas... hard to really say without knowing you or the people in question better. Hope this helped in one way or another.

    <3 danny.

    PS The new layout is nice.