Thursday, March 11, 2010

A Date??

Dear Diary,

Sorry it's been so long since I've had a personal update. I've just had a few issues I wanted to discuss and I've also been spending a lot of time talking to someone who found me from this blog. We have A LOT in common and I have enjoyed talking to him.

So for an update on Blake. Things are going....nowhere. Okay, maybe somewhere. But I don't know where exactly that somewhere is. We have talked three times on Facebook. The first time he messaged me and we talked about scary movies, second time I messaged him and we talked about our research papers and who we were doing them on, and a third time he messaged me and we talked about the class in general. That last time was about a week ago so I figured it's been enough time for me to message him to continue our pattern. I'm thinking about asking him if he has any IM programs. If he says "Yes" I will immediately download whatever he has, even if I don't use it for anyone but him. If he says "No, why?", I will answer "Haha, ok. Just wondering, trying to find some other ways to talk to people besides Facebook". Hopefully a conversation will develop from there but if it doesn't I'm okay too. Haha, I plan out the STUPIDEST things. But I can't stop thinking about him. Yesterday he walked to the door about 2 minutes before the bell rang and the teacher told him to go to the inside table because she doesn't like people standing at the door and he sat down on the one RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME. I think he was looking at me when he first sat down but when I looked he was looking down towards the floor. I wanted so badly to say something but my mind went blank and I was way too nervous. Again today he was hovering around my area at the end of class but it may have been because his friend sits near me. I don't know, but it gave me a chance to look at him. He is still hot as ever.

Ok, now for the topic of this post. So I was talking to my friend at scouts last night. Let's call him Ron. I've known him for about 4 years and we have been best friends for a couple years. We tent together every time we go camping. I don't think he is gay, he is raised in a very religious family. Whenever I mention something about gay people he's always like "eww" but I think it's just because of how he was raised. I was the same way at my old school (Christian school that was very anti-gay). We like the same music and stuff, and get along really well. I don't think he is that cute, but it's his personality that makes me like being around him. No, I'm not attracted to every guy like it seems. I don't know if I even like him like that, but Wednesday got me thinking....

Well it started out with an IM conversation before I went to scouts. He told me that after I left last week he knocked over a basketball goal and the pole hit him in the head. He said he layed there but no one came to check on him until a leader went to him. He said there was blood everywhere and he was upset that no one even checked on him. I told him I'm so sorry and I would if I was there. Then he was like "really?" and I said "Of course, I care about you." then he sent a :) and then we started talking about American Idol, lol. Anyways, at scouts we got to talking and sat down on the bench beside each other. As the meeting went on, I noticed that he kept scooting closer to me. By the end out shoulders and sides were touching. Normally when you are that close to someone you scoot over. But I had a nail beside me so I kept scooting towards him to avoid getting poked in the butt. I don't know if it was anything, but I liked being so close to him.

ANYWAYS (Sorry this is so long, a lot to talk about, haha), he asked me if I wanted to go with him to a hockey game this weekend. I'm not one for hockey, but I think spending time with him will be nice. Of course, we are going with his family and little brother, but his bro is bringing a friend too so maybe we will get some alone time to walk around the stadium and talk. Of course in my mind I see us walking and him grabbing my hand then us walking into a bathroom and kissing where no one can see us. Ok....I let my mind wander a lot, lol.

So this is an update on my life at the moment. Caught in a love triangle of my own mind, haha. We will see how things go on Saturday and you guys will be the first to know.


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