Last night was an interesting experience to say the least. I was talking with Ron about his vacation and then I was feeling a little daring.
I began by asking if he knew anything about the guy who dropped out of scouts. This is the guy (I don't think I've mentioned him here) that is only in 8th grade but I find very attractive. When I'm not talking to Ron at scouts then he is who I'm looking at, haha. Anyways, he said he didn't know anything about it. Next I told him that I would miss the guy. Then he was like "Why? He always acted like he was tougher than everyone else." and I responded "Idk, I just like him". He didn't really seem to pick up on what I was saying so we just moved on. He was talking again about how he felt like no one likes him and how he only makes friends by talking to random people not at school. He told me about meeting two girls at the amusement park. I told him I wasn't interested in meeting girls. Again... I was feeling daring.
Ron: Yeah, sure you don't like girls.
Me: Lol, you know what I mean.
Me: I don't really care about meeting girls at the amusement park. I already have other crushes I want to focus on.
Ron: Who are they?
Me: You don't know them. People at school.
Me: I have this one person I'm interested in but I don't want to tell them that I like them because I'm scared it might ruin our friendship and that's not what I want.
Ron: Them or her?
Here's where it got awkward. I began to feel like I should back out. By the way, my online friend who I've mentioned before was talking with me through all this and I was relaying messages back and forth to him. He kept urging me to go on with it and tell him about my sexuality, but I told him I don't think Ron or I was ready for that just yet.
I told Ron that he knew what I meant and he was like "whatever!". We got off topic again, and then he made a reference to Adam Lambert.
Me: And no, Adam Lambert is not the crush I'm talking about, lol.
Ron: U sure?
Me: Yes, he's like 30 isn't he?
Me: Still too old for me.
This is pretty much where our conversation ended. He didn't respond until I changed the subject. I'm kind of glad that it didn't go any further. The crush I was talking about was Blake, obviously, but the same goes for Ron. I don't want to ruin our friendship because of something that isn't really important. He comes from a religious family and still goes to a private Christian school. I know from experience that "being gay is a sin" is taught and instilled in the minds of all the students. That's how it was taught to me anyways. But anyways, if he felt the same way I did then I might be interested in trying to start a relationship with him but the way things are going it doesn't look like anything is gonna happen soon.
More to come, hopefully...